so are u like ashamed lol?
not really. i dont look at it as being homeless. im just going to pretend im on an extended camping trip
he was so excited that he found the elusive clitoris. i was like look christopher colombus, just because you found it doesnt mean you knew what to do with it
remember the good old days of high school when a half gal would last for more than a nite
You tried to get the stranger on the sea bus to give you a bite of his chicken sub by repeating over and over "im in a girl band"
Some mysterious chinese delivery man dropped off 2 free egg rolls. Clutch
you asked the janitor if you could ride his floor cleaner.
He called my vagina a rainforest. This is coming from a guy whose pubes are longer than his dick.
Yea. I couldn't get a job in fast food but I can teach Americas youth. The future looks great
Being with her was like shitty sexual fear factor big ass sausage nipples over sized outty belly button i was scared and drunk tell know one
If it was any colder outside, the frost from my breath would make a mixed drink
You only have to pretend to care about soccer until July. HE'S PRETTY DONT RUIN THIS.
like don't tell me my baby smooth vag offended you
he just fucked me for my cheese.
the wedding party just walked in to the song eye of the tiger. i'm getting drunk.
So my step mom just informed me she tells stories about me at work as a form of birth control for the girls that work there, not sure if i should be offended or proud.
Randomize
