Yeah true. Damn vaginas. They're ruining the world.
what do kids with lesbian moms do for father's day? like do you talk about it? is it awkward? do you get the butchy mom a card?
I'm pretty sure the new "vibrating mascara" is just a disguised dildo for those of us who are too ashamed to purchase a real one.
Well, at least their eye lashes will look good while they masturbate shamefully.
Nailed a drunk college girl before the CU game Saturday, and a drunk married woman after the Broncos game Sunday.
Some perfection is debatable.
can someone explain to me why i woke up under a twister sheet
Im so hungover that my 6 year old cousine made me aspirine and coffee out of playdoh...
This guy just walked into class and first thing he did was grab the garbage can, walk to his desk and say "just in case"
Almost peed between 2 cars...till I realized that it's daytime and I'm sober.
Will you be topless? That will affect my answer.
This year I'm going to try NOT getting arrested. I think the 30th birthday is the cutoff for calling Mom to bail me out.
What's a good pandora station to masturbate to?
Literally if she wants to make a big deal, I'd rather have shit smeared on my face.
Also there's so much vodka on my breath that if I blew on my fingers my nail polish would fall right off
New Orleans is just like you. Dirty but beautiful and will always have a special place in my heart
sometimes i forget what nice tits i have and then i spend a month brushing my teeth naked in the front of the bathroom mirror, and i remember.
Randomize
