Just saw an Asian guy riding his razor scooter to class. Dreams do come true
She acts like you when your on meds
She acts like batman?
Packing for the trip... do they take Visa in South Dakota?
I making dinner, so you might want to actually come home tonight.
oh, you finally did the dishes then?
No, bought new ones.
What did I eat last night that was bloody?
I vaguely remember walking down the highstreet with a plate of K offering lines to passers buy. I sold a line to a taxi driver.
Unemployment check just came in. As soon as I stop pretending I have morals I'm buying weed. Puff puff pass uncle sam.
I need a Jamo leash. Just tie it to my wrist and every time you see me reaching for a shot of it, just yank my hand away
I'm expecting you to come by soon and a magical night of sex and floating on clouds to follow.
Oh my goodness please please please my inner slut needs some pampering, shes getting rusty and nothings worse than a rusty slut
I think mark twain said that originally
I FINALLY GET TO MASTURBATE. SO EXCITED.
You tried to tip the Uber driver with a meatball sub. Then, when he refused your meatball sub...you demanded he take you to the corner with the hookers. The valet has your keys and water balloons. I'm glad you're only in Chicago for the weekend.
Just took acid. Wish me luck.
I worked out twice today and you're dropping acid. My life sucks.
The internet was right. Snorting muscle relaxers is awful
Lunch?
Massage?
Spanking with handcuffs?
Randomize