my girlfriends now gay ex-boyfriend kissed me. tell maddie i can't hangout today
i mean you're really good at taking the morning after pill...so you could put that on your resume..
yeah, i think fast in a bad sitatuion and am able to react with appropriate measures
no morals, dignity, or self respect ... just an empty condom wrapper and a facebook request
meow
WTF. STOP SENDING ME ANIMAL NOISES. ITS FUCKING WEIRD.
you are the sluttiest virgin ive ever met
thanks it was an honor just to be nominated
not exactly restoring sanity, but he is throwing up on the national mall right now
It took 5 minutes to find my bra.. in his car.
I came home to the cats covered in paint and he was asleep in the tub with a firefighters hat on.
hiding in a bush to avoid a seven dollar cab ride. cabby got out a flashlight and looked for us for like an hour. help.
I hate him and his pretentious your-sleeping-in-the-wet-spot look.
So the night ended when we tried making fireworks out of gunpowder and oregano. You can figure out how that went.
Wanna play whack-a-mole in my pants?
Your word choices worry me.
Masturbating with Lord of the Rings on was not how I planned my afternoon going but here I am.
Remember how I made that resolution to remain celibate for 6 months? Well, I just broke that
You literally made that 4 hours ago...
I think my time would be better spent seducing the TA then trying to save this paper.
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