I'm watching harry potter...good thing I already know I'm gay
; Think of how many worthless people would b non existant if there was no liquor so their parents never hooked up
Do u think I can claim pregnancy as an accident so my insurance covers it?
im at a party in sweatpants, slippers, and a basketball jersey from the eighth grade, 10 bucks says im still getting laid
You are an asshole
haha sleeping beauty awakes.
Where did you find this costume?
grab my backpack.....its in the fridge
Dude I could put my dick between the gap in her teeth.. This is the last time we are hanging out with Kentucky girls
there is no excuse for him not showing up to my st. patrick's day party. i touch his dick. i get him on the high holidays.
please bring me a paper towel asap.
I was drinking wine in bed and spilt some on my chest.. And I cautiously guided it into my belly button but now I dont know what to do.
I WAS CONCIEVED IN THE BACK OF MY CAR. THATS HOW OLD THIS CAR IS.
...how and why.
PARENTS ARE MAGIC.
I was his one phone call from jail and I hung up on him. He's fine though were gonna go to a party now.
You danced?!
I just jiggle to the beat like a sexy lava lamp
the sex got boring after the first three hours
holy shit
Pride log, day two. Noticing more bruises and scrapes. Liver functions probably very lowered.
We finally gave up searching because everything had started to look like flip flops
Randomize
