You made me cry and you don't even care
I'm on a mission to free the leash kids. Like liberating the Israelites from Egypt. Only better.
somethin' about having sex in my parents bed makes me feel like l'm finally an adult.
sperm doesn't mix with malibu too well
I havnt been this mad since the coche de Los murtos incident
she woke up, said "please dont tell me your name, i dont want to remember it"
Don't ask how, but I'm pretty sure my name is now on a lease to a taco bell franchise in maryland...
Just opened a beer with eyelash curlers... miss you.
nope im down the street in my car watching the front of her house. its actually less creepy than it sounds
I just saw her take the entire bowl of lime wedges from the bar and pour them all in her purse, and now using the empty bowl as a hat. Waiting for security to come and throw her ass out.
I like how he had to correct himself in stating that I was the fat one in the threesome.
We can see it once so I can see the whole movie, then I'll go see it with him so I know when the boring parts are and I can have sex with him during those parts
I can't wait to see you again...not a euphemism, just really looking forward to seeing you. Wanting to fuck you as often as possible just seems implied at this point.
I am seriously only coming over if there are McNuggets. I want 10 bitch. Honey mustard.
We had sex on the tiger blanket while I was wearing my Ukrainian shirt and my ass touched the Ukrainian flag. Happy 25th Ukraine!
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