now i know why they say having sex with her is the equivalent to licking a pay phone
this coming from the guy that still thinks "pulling out" is a good form of birth control? just walk away
john hughes is dead. crushing any and all dreams of me ever being in an 80's john hughes film. bummer.
No - a douche bag is not a fashion accessory. They do not make Gucci Douchebags
You discussed the Arab/Israeli conflict with the guy behind the counter at the Kebab shop telling him you supported his people. He was clearly Asian.
Seriously, I'm ready to settle for ugly and unemployed as long as he has decent hygene and likes to go down.
Well were gunna have to wash the couch cover now...maybe even the couch, soap or fire your decision
I think this girl gave me a handjob thinking that I would help her with her cell phone bill
omg. that's awesome
I am pretty damn sure that neither my body or his body is ready for how drunk I am getting tonight
True friends don't judge, they just try to have more booty calls than you do.
You should not have followed "the guy who peed in my bed" with "he smells good."
He saw me naked after our first date and still asked for a second.. so I think we’re doing good
My bookbag can hold 30+ beers. They shoulda put that on the tag bc its a big selling point
I want to find him again. His Corona tank top and I were made for each other.
couldn't remember his name. introduced him as 'mr multiple orgasms'
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