i just got so high i needed a buddy system to the kitchen
alright got my week's quota of sex in, ready for modern warfare 2
All I remember about walking back home was that I maced my shadow.
He told me that he wanted to break up with his girl friend but only after we had sex, only for him to make sure I'm worth it..
I found out what happened to that girls weave last night. It was draped over a bush in my backyard.
Nothing like an old fashioned, wine fueled, anxiety-cry in the shower to start off finals week.
It's 6 a.m. ... what the hell.
Lights are FLASHING. This just got REAL. CAPTALIZATION.
My god this is going to ruin whatever Vegas left of our souls...
Aka reading hardcore gay robot porn as a steady trickle of elementary schoolers walk by me every so often and im still in uniform as there councilor
Who is also still dressed up as a pirate
Last night's dream consisted of you, me, a sauce pan full of cocaine and light sabers. I almost cried when I woke up.
"This must be what Jayden Smith feels like all the time"
Not sure when or why this happened but I just stopped giving a shit about everything
I'm just drunk enough to be eating egg rolls on the toilet
I can show you the world. Shining, splimbering vaginaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa
If I ever drink whiskey again make sure I don't eat the plastic cups that I'm drinking them from.
Randomize
