it was like fucking the hulk in a smartcar
I swear this guy grew up in land without leagues. someone should inform him he's way out of mine
Slipping me an edible before my ochem final was not your brightest idea. Looks like I'm switching to business.
I just had a dream that I was pulling you around downtown on a sled, from bar to bar. Dear lord if we start that there's no hope for us
Skip school. Seven hour blow job Plus Disney movies. Day of champions
He made me cum 7 times AND I nearly drowned him during that 69 in the back of a ford focus. Yeah I should get my gynocologist.
How was the birthday sex?
Shit got outta hand. Honestly I think even my STDs have STDs.
your fridge is broken, your sock drawer is full of snow, and you flipped off the whole stadium on the big screen. I'd say it went well.
He's against "violent sex" cause apparently my body is "sacred". Like dude I'm about to tell you about blowing your brother just so you'll fuck me like an animal Jesus Christ....
I noticed while having sex on Friday that I have great endurance. CrossFit works.
you never un-have a 4some
I officially have worse injuries from a baby shower than roller derby.
After I asked for my 6th Gin & Tonic, the look on the flight attendant's face started to make me feel bad about myself.
I woke up on the hammock spooning a box of Cheese Itz.
Heels with jeans turned Casual Friday into Casual Sex With My Boss Friday
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