Just had to open a tuna can with a spoon. Gave me a sense of hunting for my own food.
no, I didn't make it. Instead, i watched VH1 for... 13 hours? I use the question mark because I was using Flavor Flav's clocks to tell time after the first 3 hours.
i forgot what you looked like. so we left to get pizza. sorry
just woke up with a thong on my face, dont remember going home with anyone and its way too big for it to be a good thing
I'll be there in 5 min. If not, read this again.
We probably shouldn't have forced that guys cat to drink the grey goose while we were doing lines in his bathroom
Remember when there was a happier time when people could all hang out together with out the awkwardness of the fact that she stole $1000 and cheated on a brother with another brother !?!??
Well am going to a strip club before sun down, I dont think anything good can come from that.
Sorry, but when you makeout with a guy in a panda suit, you know something has to change.
Yuck. My throat feels like someone chucked a couple of Maltov cocktails down it and finished it off with a super soaker filled with Jameson.
Why do you hate her?
She's dating the best penis that has ever entered my vagina.....
Omg one of the midgets from last night just added me to Facebook.
I know where his drugs are but not my pants
I can't believe I'm going to buy bitcoin to pay for erection pills
Nah, i wasn't offended. Having a bridesmaid who you had had multiple threesomes with your future husband would be weird.
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