They made my facebook status "I got my period!!!." Every guy I've had sex with at college liked it.
i mean, some people chug beer and some people chug hard liquor. some people have good ideas and some people have bad ideas. it's all about perspective.
It's like eating cereal and milk but instead of cereal it's gummy bears and instead of milk it's vodka.
had my ear almost bitten off in foreplay. the sex gods do not like me.
its likemy ribs anf my hesrt aew cuddlingn
An hour ago, you were stranded out of state, and now you're getting laid? You are a god. Whatever you do, don't ask her name.
So half of us were already throwing up outside when the Ukrainians ask us if we're ready to start partying yet. I love this country.
Nothing motivates a person to clean their apartment like puking up cheese ravioli beer-tequila chicken wings for eight hours.
Was I asleep on the ride home?
Yea, then when I tried to hold your head up on a turn, you round house punched me in the face.
I don't need you anyway! I have puppies and booze!
I just remembered you throwing bread at me and getting me to drink water out of a heineken bottle. You are my best friend.
I woke up with my name tag for work still on my shirt. It was a rough night.
is it still considered wake n bake if you wake up at 2 pm?
I love how when he said ecstasy pills both of our heads whipped around like a couple of horned owls.
We're like a married couple, but we only have sex on college holidays and other people's birthdays.
Randomize
