I had a dream you and I were having sex. It was pretty romantic.... until you started pulling out toys.
how soon is too soon after the break-up to ask for my condoms back?
What a good family we'd make, him and I and our kids and his good dick.
the cops didn't wanna shut the tailgate down but the strippers weren't allowed to take money without a license or somthing
he kept saying that we were in ian's fun time place and then continued to act like a dinosaur.
Malibu has added tequila to its rum. It's like when two beautiful gaybies come together an spawn a unicorn that only cries jellybean tears.
Also, did you really start discussing the weather in the middle of telling you my sexual fantasy about you?
Is it okay to thank someone for the orgasms they gave you, even though they weren't with you?
In other news, I had my first sex related injury of the school year so that's cool
Masturbated furiously for a half hour; ate a fistful of chocolate, then took a nap. Woke up and finished wrapping presents. I've got this holiday thing down.
I hope April is a better month for dicks. March has been very disappointing.
I just blew thrown up hashbrowns out my nose. That's the level of this hangover.
Definitely went down on him last night while he was wearing a cape. He randomly kept swirling it around me and "revealing me" in the mirror like a magic trick. I'm not even a little upset, it's fun fucking younger guys.
It threw me off a little. I had to take a moment and ask myself, "Is he really fingering me in his mom's kitchen while I eat a whopper?"
Taking out my recycling and 90% of it is alcohol and cat food. I am judging myself.
Randomize
