I went out, and slept with my sunglasses on
Just watched a guy pause a bluetooth convo to puke outside of esso. gotta love orangeville
omfg. get on facebook. the science olympiad team had a rave.
I just opened up the mens room door to a dude pissing in the urinal and pointing at himself in the mirror
All I'm saying is that whoever owned the wheelchair clearly didn't need it or they wouldn't have been able to leave it there
we traced the origins of this shit fest of a relationship back to a single instance of road head. then we did a reinacment
It was a karaoke bar combined with a liquor store and had a donkey pen in the back.
Keeping it classy as usual I see
You kept challenging people to a cartwheel contest...when someone finally agreed, you cartwheeled into some chicks face, then tried to propose to her as an apology. Fyi, she said no
You could make a naked club. One member, you. One president, you.
you realize you insisted on them having a dance off to korean music to determine who takes you home?
I definitely don't have enough experience with hookers to be in this group text anymore.
Every time I started to really hate the guys on tinder, the universe throws me a muscly beardy bone.
What??! Dude I'm not having you barging in at like 2 am smelling of cigarettes and disappointment to sleep on my couch and then have an awkward morning with my wife while I'm at work.
Touché sir
I love you. I would never turn you into a bear.
My dad accidentally texted me asking if I had weed...
Maybe you should say yes, and you guys can like bond or something...
Randomize
