i just traded a sweatshirt for margaritas... why did they ever stop using the barter system??!!
hey, this is the drunk ass freshman from last night. thanks alot for helping me out last night, i'd probably be on some lawn if it wasn't for you guys! and my mom says thanks for talking to her
Did Kevin really put his bar tab under the name Hercules last night?
So my girlfriend used a threesome to tell me she wanted to leave me for a girl... Not entirely sure how I should feel about that.
Yea, remember to blow out the fire from flaming shots. Unless you want burnt lips. Just saying, I'm an example of ignorance and intoxication.
I feel like I've wasted too many painkillers on hangovers
You can duct tape yourself to me so we dont lose you and you dont have to celebrate your birthday alone
Drug-sniffing dog walked past me and my suitcase in the train station. My opinion: they need a new dog
guy in front of me at the pharmacy just asked the pharmacist for 2 Plan B's and replied with, "If your wondering, then yes I did have a threesome. It was amazing".
K, so let's go ahead and say that mcnugget and margarita Tuesday was a bad idea
I'm getting better, this year I only showed up drunk to 1 final.
So our trip to Disney World ended in the three of us stripping at a gay club in orlando.
You fell asleep on the toilet and he was like uh should I take her off?
I was totally pumped and so was my beard
I wanna be like, dude, I peed your bed. Like you laid in my pee. And we're not dating. You can find another fuck buddy who I'm sure won't piss on you.
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