My wife all of the sudden got markedly better at giving blow jobs. Should I be happy or concerned?
dude she was so drunk she thought Jim Joyce made the right call
first day of class and my professor asked me if i was going to come to class drunk all semester.
Last night the nurse at the ER told me that she wished all her drunk patients were like me. Then she commented on my socks...
im almost positive that in mid thrust she told me she was pro choice
He was puking up tons. He aimed his face inside his coat. Not a drop in my car. Then he thanked me for the ride.
While looking for an apartment, I've realized that the way I rate balconies is on the "how easy would it be to smoke weed here" scale.
What other scale is there?
This Halloween will be different. I'm just here to get shitfaced, not troll around looking for slutty nun pussy.
I'm drunk, we're losing, and I'm in the visitors stands. This is about to get ugly.
the evidence suggests last night I either took a bath in beer or drank 18 beers while in the bath. either one sounds good to me. sad i don't remember it
I had a dream that my roommate walked in on me masturbating and I hissed "I'm not stopping this orgasm train for the likes of you" and just kept going
I just want to return to LA when the weed and dick is plentiful.
Do you think they manscape in the zombie apocalypse?
He just made this face while he was fucking me and he looked like the hunchback of Notre Dame, I had to stop him.
I wasn't going to drink tonight, but was reminded this is the anniversary of prohibition being repealed. If I don't, then I am against my profession of bartending and anti-American, right?
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