who let me buy 6 packs of big league chew? and eat them all? thats not cool
Ok so serious question: if one wanted to say the plural of mongoose, would it be mongooses or mongeese?
I'm pretty sure there was a language barrier but he knew what "harder" meant.
his eyes are fucked up, he bumped into the cabinet while standing in my office, and he's pounding chicken soup, and he must have chewed on 8 pieces of gum before he got here.
You cant carve pumpkins without vodka. It's a Halloween tradition.
almost got into it with the cashier. bitch dont look at me like that just cuz im only buying wine and icing. ill fight.
At least you got some premium homework time. Still drinking vodka from a coffee cup?
I switched to water. When the numbers get blurry you are no longer being productive.
He's def the type to chop us into bits whilst screaming "NAPA BITCH". AKA my type
Woke up to a sex noise notice under my door...he gets a A+ for proformance and ill be seeing him again.
I'm 2 beers deep on an empty stomach, and I just wanna say, I pride myself on my use of commas
We have GOT to stop getting stoned and going out for expensive dinners.
I JUST AGREED TO GO TO A CHILD'S BIRTHDAY PARTY AT A PLACE CALLED PUZZLE'S FUN DOME WHY DO I HATE MYSELF
sometimes i forget what nice tits i have and then i spend a month brushing my teeth naked in the front of the bathroom mirror, and i remember.
I think I fell in love last night
That guy had a face tattoo and was named Cheddar. Please tell me you’re kidding.
You should not be involved with someone who smells like that. Because that smell seriously does not go away. Even if you can't actually smell it at any given point, it will still haunt you
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