There is no way to make a throwing up smiley so just picture it....
so im in the parking lot of taco bell eating a taco...and some girl just got out of a car and screamed at the top of her lungs "XANEX FOR SALE!!!!" i fucking love Hamilton.
I just paid $5 for a shot of el toro and the bartender wasn't even hot. Rock bottom.
if i found out she had a dick after i got head, does that still make me gay?
just had amazing sex with a girl I got caught with in second grade playing doctor. her examination is finallllly over
Someone played tic tac toe on my abs?
Then he showed me his sketchbook. Every drawing was a hand in different 'fingering positions'. Dear JESUS.
This year I'm going to try NOT getting arrested. I think the 30th birthday is the cutoff for calling Mom to bail me out.
First booty call in Europe.. In Barcelona. With a German. In broad daylight.... Is that how they do it here?
Chilling. The soap was talking at one point if I rememeber right...
You walked up to a random girl on the street and asked her for a bite of her pizza...
I think the highlight of my night is when I was eating a mayonnaise sandwich. drunk me was on point.
Should I go bust a nut on the beach
I cannot belive our party caught on fire
Once you find out someone has a small dick, you never look at them the same again.
Randomize
