She told me that she had to rub her face against me because she was part cat.
Tomorrow will not be complet unless someone eats me out. Just sayin
You are the only person I know that goes to a bar enough to charge your iPhone there....
Sophomore year, I fucked on your desk chair. I'm sorry. I love you.
and then you seriously asked him to senior prom..which freaked him out since you told him earlier you were 22
I'm hiding out in the living room until he falls back asleep. If he catches a whiff of my tits, it's all over. I just need to play it cool. Babies can smell fear
I'm still not sure if it was intentional, but the chiropractor definitely cradled his balls on my shoulder. He even seemed to adjust the sack for comfort. I think I should be flattered. He is a doctor, after all..
okay when i look at this i can see it on the future news along with the headline "picture scandal involving senatorial candidate sexually harassing drunken idiot in what appears to be a pink room of pain"
Talking to friends parents while buying all the things needed for Jell-O shots. classic
Gotta get new sheets. ..I fucked the satin off mine.
all I know is this drummer better stop eye fucking me while he plays cowbell. it is way too early for that.
If he can't cook well I'm just gonna buy a RealDoll and twenty cats and live my own fucking life
Beer and Reeses. dinner of champions
so i put my jacket on last night that you wore last weekend, and reach inside the pockets and find them full of goldfish...
the snack that smiles back:)
What?? I could've slept with an ordained minister!
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