Don't go all Obama on me. George Bush this decision and just do it. Thinking's for the morning after
on a side note you can NOT make bong water out of a pear
Just saw a woman in a hospital gown with a Steelers jersey on top smoking a cigarette while hooked up to an IV outside of the hospital. I love Pittsburgh.
Was rudely woken up by strangers at 4:15am. I was leaning against the stoplight at 9th
At the bar. Madeline and I totally brought our own pitcher from home because they always run out. Hello alcoholism.
Strip beer pong in the front yard? Of course the cops showed up
I am too drunk to deal with your everything. Reread this everytime you feel the need to talk to me.
If you've never yelled, "fuck you ray Lewis" in front of your 87 year old grandfather you haven't lived
I was wearing the shirt my little sister got for her birthday when the condom broke. I finally have it back to her and told her it was bad luck
this is the first time i'm angry at someone with so much boobs. she like managed to break my glass and my phone with one glorious swing
I believe in weed hangovers. To say the least.
Literally got mad at him this morning because we didn't have time to have sex for a third time. I think I'm getting greedy.
he can get married early and ruin his life but he sure as hell isn't ruining mine with a shitty bachelor party
He could only go twice. I need a guy with more stamina and is less married
I'm pretty sure my munchies are the only reason Good and Plenty is still around
Randomize