Once again you get dinner and all I get is semen on my leg
I'm taking child development now so if you get pregnant i can raise your child no worries
on the list of things id be doing when i was almost 30, waiting for a girl to finish shitting the bed wasn't on there.
his electricity got shut off. i felt like a pilgrim searching for his dick.
She said I walked up to the McDonalds counter and ordered just a cup full of pickles then proceeded to offer some to everyone in the place.
At what point did we decide It was a good idea t have a wheelbarrow race in the parking lot?
He paid me to blow him while doing a handstand. Does that make me a whore or just a budding gymnast?
Dreamed I made out with a stranger after falling out of a car, let's make this happen tonight.
That was obviously his first time talking dirty. He called my vagina "pretty"
walk of shame. I'm wearing my rain jacket over my dragon costume. My tail keeps dragging in the rain.
Idk she didn't seem that weird to me but I had just eaten an entire tray of jello infused with liquor so I could be wrong...
We both fell asleep mid-handjob and he continued to call it "handjob halftime".
final thoughts: i just want someone into choking me out, weed and anime
The next morning I found her spread eagle asleep on the living room floor and he was asleep with his head in her crotch. I needed a ride and had to wake them up.
Is there a subtle way to tell him he needs to hydrate? 8 years of yoga and kegels. He has no idea what I’m going to do to him this weekend
Randomize
