Considering the face that your still in jail Im gunna go with no.
i just woke up naked on my porch, holding the neighbors cat in my arms.
Dude you called me last night to let me listen to you piss in a cup and drink it. Just making sure you survived
I am standing at the lion i publicly humped last night. i am mortified.
You basically told your boyfriend at the time you were going to shit in his hands.
And I meant every ounce of it.
Operation liquormelon is in full effect. We may die tonight.
I can't tell which way is up. Too many corners around his house too. An arbitary assimilation of edges.
Christ, I swear you are the high man's Dr. Seuss.
The cops said we could pay $250 or spend the night in jail and get 2 free meals. I might pee in mail-boxes more often
he fell asleep like an hour after we got to the beach, he deserved that penis shaped sunburn.
So nowhere in the dress code does it forbid me from showing up to City Hall in a gorilla suit to meet the mayor.
Some fat latino guy has these 2 fat white moms making out with each other on the dance floor
Let's go. I'm waiting for my time to shine among the stars of never never land. Make sure you bring my Peter Pan costume this time. Shit's bout to get real glittery.
Executive order 941: BRING ME THE FINEST PANCAKES!
You have got to stop watching the West Wing before going out.
You were pretty conviced that my dog was a spanish child and kept trying to read him the news from your iphone app
GOD DAMN IT I COULD HAVE HAD A MOTHERFUCKING 3 WAY LAST NIGHT. WHY BOOZE, WHY?!
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