I'm walking behind a man wearing a womans shirt, heels, mens pants and a baseball hat
How many pudding cups do I have to eat for it to count as dinner?
4.
I just saw a woman point to her daughter and scream at her husband THIS IS YOUR GENES, THIS IS YOU.
Hey. I found $5 in quarters from one of those state quarter collection books. I'm using it for food tomorrow.
Theres just something about looking at pictures of your dick in church that doesn't feel right
His foreplay reminded me too much of breastfeeding.
I just did the math. 30.36% of girls I've slept with have cheated on a significant other while doing it.
Apparently I told his new girlfriend to stop swallowing because she's getting fat. Oh, and I yelled this across a large room
Then you bent down and whispered, "excuse me mr. Stair, could you please stop moving?"
How do you tell an ex that banging less hot chicks than me is highly insulting? I almost want to try and get him laid with a pretty girl just to save some face for dating him so long.
Just set out 2 water bottles as an offering to my hungover self.
I'm so pissed theres no male strip clubs around where we are staying I looked extensively
She just walked out of her bedroom naked and asked me to help put her diaper on. Yeah, that pretty much sums up the last 24 hours...
HE WAS CUMMING IN THAT DICK PIC
The dog peed on the neighbors baby Jesus. No wonder she thinks we're the devil.
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