What can I say, we hook up during the holidays.. We're a seasonal couple
Two dudes got up on top of the pianos and danced shirtless. They didnt even get kicked out. I love vegas
do not give him the "i just had sex cake" i repeat DO NOT give him the cake. things didn't go well
Its like "fucckkkkk yooouuuuuu" is echoing up my esophagus
tequila?
yep
I think I'm goin to jail but either way I had a blast.
I met her at the quidditch match. She was the snitch and I caught her. After at the bar she walked up grabbed my hand and said snitches have flesh memories.
Why are your underwear on my dining room table?
All three of us got laid last night. This is what is commonly referred to as the Trifuckta.
I just want you to know that I think it is hilarious and wonderful that 40s are now your alcohol of choice.
Just set out 2 water bottles as an offering to my hungover self.
you're no funn. i shall go consult my friend vodka on this matter.
I want to die, ON THAT, with that INSIDE ME. ironically, I sense that would be the only time I'd feel alive.
I just want to say that I've always loved you and you are my best friend ever
You gave that creepy guy my number, didn't you? You really need to learn how to just say no, not interested.
breakfast this morning: omelette, Valium and baileys hot chocolate
Now that sounds like the breakfast of champions
All I remember is your girlfriend laying on the bathroom floor and me crawling in and asking if it was okay to puke.
Randomize
