At my boss' house at a bbq. Had a few beers. Taking a poop - there's no TP...this is my nightmare.
Where is the hickey?
I was so drunk last night I wanted to download a Busta Rhymes album.
Found her laying down in a booth in iHop. She's a keeper.
he told me he's been faithful to his girlfriend and is gonna try to stay that way. challenge accepted.
I had to close one eye to read the questions on my final this morning. That hungover.
In case you were wondering...putting everclear into a humidifier DOES get you really really drunk.
Being at this bar with grandma is a real cockblocker
Indoor beer darts at Rafs just turned into a trust exercise of putting your hand on the wall and closing your eyes while the other throws.. Almost gave Cale a Tracheotomy
Im going to be coked out with hello kitty fire arms. Valentines day can suck my dick
I told her the party couldn't handle my playlist LAZERBAWLS and I was right. Cops in the basement, orgy in the kitchen, jousting in the living room.
Dude, all I know is that I came out of this thing wearing a snorkel mask and completely covered in glitter and soap.
so much tequila, so little girl.
You have the most beautiful penis I've ever seen. I never thought penises were meant to be beautiful, but you proved me wrong
just had sex in the back of my high school auditorium #dreamcumtrue
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