So he passed out in the bathroom of the bar, woke up thinking he was somewhere else and called her flipping his shit because he thought she left him. She had to go into the men's bathroom to find him, and then he told her she was "trying too hard to be his girlfriend" over and over again.
Dont they live together now? Havent they been together for like two years?
Yeah. That's the best part. I always thought he was kind of a pussy but turns out he's a degenerate just like us. Welcome
Prereq for being on nyc prep: money, bitchy, and a lazy eye... if only you were rich
she was carrying the quesadilla around the bar like a security blanket
He was in me and said I can't believe this happened because of facebook. MOOD KILLER.
I'm pretty sure I just overheard my boss call his sperm precious metal...
I think I just found part of a tooth on my bed... What goes on in here?
He hid IN a snowbank for 2 hours waiting for me to come home. This game has to stop before someone dies.
im tired of her bring homeless men home when shes drunk. THEY ARE NOT FUCKING PETS!!!!
were you high?
When?
Actually just blanket yes to that question
I'm pleased to know that your mom refers to me as "the ass piliager" now
he went down on me to a drake song and now i think i need a penicillin shot
She puked in the bed, peed in the closet, and woke up on a Rubbermaid in the closet under the stair case
i wish i could say that was the first 40 year old woman from the circus I nailed
We ended the night eating peanutbutter with our hands and smoking cigarettes in the house at 4am. Fucking Everclear, man.
Do plants get herpes?
who is this
Randomize
