apparently red wine has the total opposite effect that whiskey does on his dick
we're at the bar and some girl dropped a bottle of burnettes strawberry vodka out of her purse and it broke.
i mean, if that's not class, then i don't know what is
You do realize that you're sleeping with a man who is part of a gay harem, right?
I'm challenging a 70 yr old alcoholic woman who is half my size tonight. Wish me luck
i admit it was a weird experience, but why regret what once made you cum
The fact that when I blacked in you were sober enough to kick me out of your roommates bed makes me question our friendship.
Last comment. I know of no exercises, diets or practices out there to help keeping balls young and healthy. They simply succumb to gravity.
This guy punched out a light, puked in the sink, stole the mailbox, then tried to tell ME that I had to leave the party... Then his dog shit on the floor.
Sorry brah. Drastic times called for drastic measures and I had to go home and bang a cougar.
You were discovered in a bush, smoking, and singing "in the jungle" to yourself. Which explains the scratches, but not the orange paint.
Fuck you. You were a total asshole last night.
We will get to that, but can anybody tell me whose fucking socks I am wearing?!
What’s the level of adulting when you reschedule a dentist appointment to have a threesome?
Also I found $40 in the women's bathroom at ihop. Karma is finally kicking in!
Did you at least know who's jizz it was?
That is questionable.
Very interesting. Let's just say I got home last night and threw up, found a joint in my bra, and woke up naked in my bed
Randomize
