thus making me awesome and them whores
in a basement doing blow off a prince dvd next to a chick in a saddam mask
I love how its suddenly "not all about sex" now that he can't get it up
if i were reduced to my simplest elements, i would be jizz and glitter.
The only ground rules are no one is allowed to come who will say "no, that's a bad idea" or "what if we get arrested?"
At this point I feel like i'm never going to be sober, and it's frightening
you made your own hammock out of a towel and duct tape.
You made eat vitamins until I threw up
If he thought that flying across an ocean to visit me in London constituted sex, he thought wrong.
just watched my roommates get stoned and jury rig a pulley system to pass the bowl back and forth across the room.
Worst part of blacking out... Waking up and having to do the teeth check
I'm done being subtle here. MOVE INTO MY EXTRA BEDROOM SO WE CAN FUCK WHENEVER AND NOT HAVE TO WORRY ABOUT FINDING PEOPLE TO HAVE CASUAL SEX WITH.
you live like 200 miles from me and I have two years of school left
goddamnit stop pointing out all the flaws in my plan
Please put me on a plane and hypontize me into forgetting the little bit of last night that I do remember.
Idk what the interview would be like but I imagine you in a suit and tie surveying a nervous freshman and eventually leading him into a labyrinth of debauchery and clapping him on the back, saying "welcome to the fraternity, son"
I CAN’T BELIEVE YOU STUCK YOUR DICK IN CRAZY!
Randomize
