I gave up sex with dolphins for you.
I think my emotional moodswings have reached a new low. I cried for the entire duration of changing my tampon.
my grandma just informed me that patrick swayze used to babysit my dads cousins why wasn't i informed of this early...like when i was obsessed with dirty dancing!
I'm pissed I'm finding this out at 24 bc i could have used this material to make friends
Dude.. I don’t care how hairy she is, you already left me at the bar, and now I have to find another fucking way home... NOW BE A MAN ABOUT IT!
It's mornings like this that make me happy to have a clean pair of underwear in my purse.
Day two of taking my adderall. I just organized the pantry and alphabetized my dvds. I've missed my mind on drugs
it makes it look bigger when i shave, i hope its not the same for a girl
I wonder if he has realized that I have poured all if those shots he bought into the tip jar
This stranger told me I should "start playing for the other team" and then continued to talk to me about the joys of being a lesbian
I bet he'd be real motivational during sex. And he'd probably make you call him superman.
We smoked a bowl in front of the abortion clinic shouting Obama at the protestors.
Had a grope session with a girl who looked like my Mom and had the same name as her as well. I think therapy is in order.
If I had feelings, you would have hurt them.
You are cordially invited to the annual finals week stress relief drinking binge at our manor this evening
His name was Dragon. For real. How do you not sleep with a Dragon? Don't judge me.
Randomize