what has become of my life if the best thing thats happened to me this week is that i discovered my cleavage as the best hiding spot ever for weed.
it makes it look bigger when i shave, i hope its not the same for a girl
You suck. You're fired. I need to find a less reasonable voice-of-reason.
I don't know who he was, where he came from, or where he went, but he just handed me a bowl of mac and cheese and left. It was good too.
Your expertise in crazy bitches is needed.
I am pretty sure they consider me one of the "bros". They compliment girl's racks to me and are the human forms of dick-be-gone. They won't sleep with me more than once cause it's "weird", or let any "untrustworthy boys" sleep with me and I still help them get laid. Not...fair...
If I puke off the kayak tomorrow think nothing of it.
She's just done the monthly not prego dance around our kitchen
Just had sex in the darkroom, while a class was going on ten feet away. I finally have a good sex story.
Of all the things that can be stripped of me i'll be damned if it's my vanity
I'm pretty sure I just need an IV drip of Plan B at this point...
I've got a 90 day supply of amoxicillin in case of zombie or chlamydia outbreak
She found my old SD card with stuff I "didn't keep" or "didn't record us doing".... She's pissed but really horny. Did I just win at sex?
So I woke and tried to get up. Then I realised my foot was stuck in the pocket of the pool table.
OMFG I JUST SEARCHED DILDO ON THE WORK SHARED AMAZON ACCOUNT!!!!!
Randomize
