positive spin of the day: since my nose is blocked from allergies cleaning the puke this morning was much easier
I got to the point where it seemed like she had 8 giant breasts instead of just two
I took the precaution of putting my macbook the one place in the dorm there is no way i can piss on it... the toilet
You looked cold, so i decided to make you a blanket out of sticky notes.
i just remembered i chipped my tooth last night when i pulled up your pants zipper with my teeth
it's a gatorade, cheez its, and regret kind of morning....
putting weed in the twinkies box was possibly the best idea you've ever had
If you were curious as to how many pounds of bagged marijuana can fit in the trunk of a 2010 Chevrolet Aveo, we now have the answer
cassie wtf are you alive??! no one has seen you for like seven hours whereeee did you go
IS IT POSSIBLE FOR A GUY TO NOT HAVE BALLS
Just had the "whores are people too" talk with Mom. Bright side it's Christmas, and I may have been drunk, I don't think she caught on.
I just smoked weed out of a baked potato.
You rock my world.
Did you really get 12 corn dogs from the gas station last night?
At this point I think you're just judging my taste in men
honestly i've never been more attracted to you than when you threw up on my floor
I just passed a lady driving with a cat in a sweater sitting on her lap with its paws on the steering wheel
Only you....
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