lesson #67 learned in college: a three day old margarita, is still a margarita.
So she said she wears a diaper when she's on her period and I'm not going to lie, I kind of want to see the diaper.
don't worry dude, we didn't fuck on your bed out of respect for you
couldn't find a condom?
basically
dude my 8 year old cousin is allowed to drink wine coolers. as long as its infront of my aunt. wtf
she puked as i came inside her. that has to mean something.
I just saw that cheerleader from u of arkansas that I hooked up with over spring break on espn. My parents would be so proud.
I was fine until "Under Pressure" came on the radio. It's like God wanted me to shit my pants on the drive home.
Woke up Christmas Eve morning with my face smelling like ballsack.. No regrets.
Apparently I yelled "no stop it" in my sleep last night when he tried to cuddle with me.
Oops, guess its official. I just use him for sex.
We need more drag queens in our life I've decided
My addiction to golf is getting out of hand....I just caught myself swinging my dick like a putter while peeing.
It sounds like I am drunk, but I am not. I just have a concussion.
Your normalization of crazy is frightening.
I just fuked with kevins application and made it say that he does conjugal visits for community service
hey some people donate their time while apparently kevin donates his body
Im experiencing the awkward moment after realizing two of my straight female friends have had sex with each other
Randomize
