you remind me of a slightly lless slutty bristol palin
and you remind me of a slightly less retarded levi johnston
Just got done shaving my balls. You were right.
the condom got lost in my hair
My wife caught me jerking off, I had to tell her I was thinking bout her
The Masters... another excuse to excessivly start drinking by 1
I have seen more male genitalia at this party tonight than I ever want to see again in my entire life.
I guess I gave him a 20 minute play-by-play of the first three sections of R. Kelly's 'trapped in a closet.'
Well, they emptied out the keg by the third kegstand for America.
I don't really know how to say this, but I have an oven mitt to return to you tomorrow..
Woke up eating a pickle on the bathroom floor this morning in some random guys sweat pants.
No, next time he offers you a ride home, ask him about Batman. The result will always be road head.
I don't think I've ever been sadder than the way I feel when I finish my meal while I'm high
You would be successful and sober without me. you can't turn your bakon me now
Rarely does a man I fucked with upgrade from me
.......do you have the salami in bed? I'm trying to make a sandwich.
Randomize
