You guys sftrill at mcdondalds?!!!!
Yes.
fuckin bring me a cheseburgeria
At least you're going to bed with all the teeth you woke up with
we're microwaving frozen margaritas its not the same without u
thank god my boss can't smell the tequila on my breathe over the phone.
Not till Sunday. I'm going to sleep in my car. And I know. This place is insane. Blood on the stAirs 5 dollar slices of pizza. A girl on our floor had a stroke.
You me handle of captain and a sorostitute study sesh, if we don't get laid mancards must be relinquished
We should have a bouncer at the top of our stairs asking the guys we bring home for ID...
At the ER, will you come pick me up... Had an allergic reaction, wanted to see if I could eat a peanut without dying... Do you how bad this is evolutionary, I would have died back in the days of survival of the fitest by now
If there was a card that said "I'm sorry for throwing up on your bathroom counter" I would send it to you.
Everyone's impressed that I actually got pee all over his car since I'm a girl and they're a little curious..
There has been a song made about you fucking his roommate.
It's destiny.
I need to sleep so I can die properly tomorrow.
There should be a guide book that probation officers hand out on "how to tell a tinder girl about your ankle monitor before she notices it at the worst possible moment"
Hey know anyone who wants 58 lbs of whole frozen chickens for a couple bowls?
You shouted "my financial aid just came in, who wants a shot?!" Half the bar followed
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