He has that thing where they hang SUPER low
Ewww!! Elephantitis
Im going to bring a boy home tonight, and not tell him that I have my period. So when he tries to fuck me, I say no, and look really classy. Then he thinks I'm marriage material. So I give him head.
I just woke up under a kitchen table with my sandals taped to my feet and a corona bottle taped to my hand..
We are like the golden girls with less cheesecake and more drugs.
I Never golf you the sypdu of andrew. The one o will marry. The one j plwgded my last breath up. The one I pledged everything I live forbworh to. I love him more than life itself
He came in my nose, then said it would help clear my sinuses.
I woke up next to her will a oven mit taped to my cock. Dear god, I might have tried to use it as a condom.
Please tell me that's his leg and you didn't really just send me a picture of your dog's dick
When he sent me a picture, I swear my vag frowned. That tiny.
Also I just had a flash back ... He told me I have nice nipples and then asked me about yours..
I think I just got judged by the pizza guy. dude, you deliver fucking pizza. you need rethink YOUR life.
Did I really drink that whole bottle of Jack Daniels last night?
Heroically.
What did he say?
NOTHING. GODDAMN HIM AND HIS MAGICAL PENIS!
She showed up at 4:30 in the morning HAMMERED, stripped, demanded sex, then after 4 failed attempts stopped me mid-thrust to tell me she thought we should be fucking for a cause, like animal rights. Process that for a second. She wanted us to be fucking for animal rights.
wow bdsm is so cute
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