i seriously hope you fucking die....you are the worst.
SHit! Sorry, sent to wrong person
i don't know whats more disturbing, that his dog drooled directly into my mouth or that i was too drunk and tired to do anything except let it be there.
Just walked by a yard full of girls wearing bikinis. I did my best to stare.
She said she was an education major and you replied with "oh I'm taking a semester off too". And we never saw her again...
i proceeded to stick my hands in his pants while he continued to repeat i have a girlfriend
The doctor told me if I woke up with a broken foot and don't know how it happened, I might want to look into getting treatment.
He's hinting that I'm starting to be kicked out of their blunt rides, I can feel it.
There are only families here. I'm at the bar alone double fisting drinks. You cannot get any more approachable than I am now.
never underestimate the power of walking into a bar alone in uv cat makeup.. took home a seven foot man
I don't know if it is the Everclear or chemistry, but i think my brain is coming out of my ears.
The landlord wasn't even off the porch yet and she was packing a bowl, I can't imagine a better best friend
SOMETIMES YOU HAVE TO BLAST VANESSA CARLTON IN YOUR CAR AT MIDNIGHT TO FEEL AGAIN. IDK.
He showed me his sex playlist and it looked good, so I slept with him.
This is a life or shit situation. Grab me toilet paper asap. This bathroom is fucking out. This is not a test. This an actual emergency and I am not joking.
i just want to cuddle, make out and maybe have a boob grabbed but no. someone has to have mono.
Randomize
