We should write a comic book about the many adventures of your vagina. Maybe even give it a cape or something.
We were making out and then he stopped and said to me, "Your ship is right there, why don't you take your people and just go?"
What's the point of having 3 fuck buddies when their periods all seem to sync up
After skinny dipping in your pond, I think me and tequila have added a whole new dynamic to our relationship.
It was tug of war between me and the cop. He wanted the beer, I wanted the coozie.
I don't know what you're talking about. I just drank beer out of my own bellybutton by doing a backbend and letting it run down my body.
I woke up this morning with a wristband and I thought I went to the hospital last night I actually went ice skating instead
Dude he fell into my wall and left an imprint then decided to have sex with the door open. Vents carry noise pretty well
The milf did the body paint, come to the bar
Forgot my sound was off and didnt even realize it until halfway through because I thought I could hear it. I think high me just narrated half a clip of adventure time
When you are old and getting humped by saggy balls every other weekend you are gonna wish you had more sex with freshly legal boys. Your vagina will thank you one day. Don't let her down.
just blew him in the library. I am a classy dame
excused from jury duty. THAT hungover...
I'm in love. Her name is Jamie. She's beautiful. She punched me in the face.
just learned i can hear my fish chewing his food WHILE HES IN HIS BOWL. im going to have to call you back.
Randomize