im poppin the ladies like they're bacne
God I'm so bored. I wish I had a baby or something to play with.
And this is exactly why you should NEVER have kids.
I was worried if he didn't show me his penis, he would kill himself
i just saw a guy carrying a medieval times commemerative glass filled with vomit.. there were 2 people cheering him from behind
today is the best snowday of my entire life. also its no shirt day.
i lnow ive slrrwsdy teted you this. but goddamn girl on tv is a good song
Idk if you've ever had the pleasure of 1. Vomiting on a sidewalk - at 3 in the afternoon 2. Vomiting nachos or 3. Vomiting nachos out of your nose but really I do not advise any of the above.
She blew me in the back of the cab while eye of the tiger was on the radio. Top five all time automatically
You crawled everywhere and rolled in ice cream. No more vodka for a month.
I sent "Rawrrrr" to 151 matches on Tinder. I feel like thats a substantial size of the DC female population.
Went to work in the same clothes from last night, completely covered in glitter...I didn't choose the hag life, the hag life chose me
I would reevaluate a bf who is happy with other guys doing me.
WHAT IS MY LIFE THAT THE ONLY PERSON INTERESTED IN FUCKING ME IS MY 6TH GRADE MATH TEACHER
So he apologized for peeing on my floor.. then we fucked all night.
Real classy
He had a tattoo of a crown above his penis. He was AMAZING! It was well deserved. LONG LIVE THE KING!
Randomize
