So the hot 23 year old i went home with last night is really 17 and was here for orientation.. i feel like a pedifile...
In that case, you should probably come up to the union, orientation is in full swing, your kind of guys ;)
cunt.
I ran out of diet so I'm mixing captain with a juice box. Being a mom has finally paid off.
The guy at the liquor store just checked my id and said "oh it's you"
It just sucks seeing everyone get flowers but me...
yeah, but they die. it takes a while, but they die. just like all of these kids relationships will. tequila doesnt die. its a live in the moment thing... like a valentines day one night stand. so long run, tequila is the better gift.
I'm driving to work with an ice pack on my vagina. how was your weekend?
It's one of the reasons i'm here, along with emotional support, physical support if you need it, and power orgasms.
There's a girl at 7-11 apologizing for her behavior and asking if she can get her shoes back.
I tapped out to boredom. She bought me a full meal at Subway. Two tap beers and a pretty weak long island iced tea. I'm five dollars cheaper to fuck than she is.
my nipple ring is gone but someone was nice enough to replace it with a paperclip
She told me she's going to buy a projector so she can watch porn on her ceiling...I'm telling you man this chick is going places
I'm 25 and she is 19. She wants to practice blowjobs on me because of my stamina. Not only does the GI bill pay for me to go to school I am teaching a freshman blowjob course. I love Texas.
I NEED ANOTHER LEVEL OF CAPS TO EXPRESS TO YOU THE MAGNITUDE OF MY FADDEDNESS
I think the old lady next to me at the bar just saw your pussy
You were silly, high, and chewing on things.
i feel like if we ever had babies together they would just be drunk all the time
Randomize
