I take no responsibility of who alcohol hooks up with using my body!
My Vagina smells like Nemo again.
if you could put a roof over IU campus it would be the biggest whorehouse in the nation
There is tupperware vodka. thats right tupperwares full of vodka. best leftovers ever
ME TOO. Am adrunk madr out qith. White guy. Guy de white. Blanco chico. Chico de blanco
What's life without a lamp shade you wore home?
You look me right in the eyes and yelled "By the power of the superglue beer sword, I designate you my driver!" I almost felt honored.
Just played slippy cup. Flip cup plus slip n slide. What did you do with your fourth of july?
Thats the last time im "arresting" you to get out of paying your bar tab.
What?! The only reason I married your sister is to have a Cop in the family!
I will kick you in all of your body parts. All at once.
I was going down on her and she started whistling "Whistle while you work." I'm in love.
Only real friends lend their restraints to engagedfriends to fool around with married strangers.
I need my sock, sombrero, maracas, and I just heard I had a light saber, if thats the case...i want that back too
there is partying, then there is whatever we did last night.
Ok maybe second best. He dated a stripper. Can't compete with that level of hoeness
Randomize
