you were crying and the really sympathetic homeless man offered you a sip of his whiskey. who was i to stop you?
your transformation into a slut upon entering college is like a shakespearian tragedy
I was the last girl at the bar last night. It was like a battle royale between 10 guys.
Although I wish I was out drinking, this cough syrup has me slightly more optimistic than usual.. I heavily debating trying to find mystical creatures and selling them to rich people as pets
I don't think my body can handle the alcohol I want to put in it anymore.
While running home from the bar in high heels I multi- tasked and sexted with Brent. Jesus.
The hookup that almost was... Both partys too drunk to migrate to the other.... the universe has won this one.
she's just been through a whole lot lately. When the crazy starts leaking out we give her vodka and lock her in the room with all the pillows.
so that's what that room is for...
Did you put pizza in my boxers last night?
I left you 4 hours ago. Have you been walking around with shit in your pants all day?
Yeah and you keep saying "I know how to win America." While running away from us
Nothing like putting a Percocet up your nose because you spent your night drinking heavily and can't drink water to make you heavily reconsider your life choices
sending my old camp counselor nudes. childhood memory win or new low?
I'm pretty sure I broke my breathalyzer by breathing vaporized vodka into it.
Woke up with a $100 bill from the Philippines in my bra & an unopened box of sour patch kids next to me. I have some questions.
I swear my vagina needs to be taken away from me when I drink.
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