her teeth looked like a whores toenails, i was too horrified to
It took my four years to get this degree, and 4 hours to lose it, My parents are not impressed.
Whatever. I indirectly made you cum overseas. Call it even.
He pulled his pants down and said blow me, while passing out on my bed. I then pulled his pants up as he continuously started moaning in the background.
I said we should get a taxi and you were waving down cars, three of which were cops and one of them slowed down and shook his head then kept driving
He didn't think we needed a taxi
i'm almost positive she was a dude but like it doesn't even matter
re read what you just said
My suggestion is that you just get high and set shit on fire
Andy was trying to screw his door shut from the inside so no one could get in.
yup and then I snapped out of it and realized I was playing beer pong against a 4 year old... and losing
Wow I got tittyfucked by the American Dream
I was trying to drink every time they said planned parenthood but my body isn't cut out for this.
The power of my boobs compel you
The cat is stealing cigarettes and my vagina cures blindness. How's your night?
This drunk girl kept yelling for water so I dipped a cup in the toilet and gave it to her. She was thanking me all night.
Did I tell you about the swingers? Because I think they're trying to trap me.
Randomize
