it was worse than that time i tried giving evan head 4 days post nose job.
i guess its not very common for a paramedic to have to revive someone who was struck by a falling shampoo bottle while getting off from the bathtub faucet.
just looked at his mug shot... not really my type
One of my other friends found me and the dog in the back seat of this one guy's car....I don't even know
I'm surprised I haven't crapped out a leprechaun, I'm so hungover
I would let Bear Grills repel down a waterfall using my dick if I could go to sleep right now.
You forgot your "boyfriend" from last night on my couch. You're suppose to bring that shit with you.
I can't wait til I'm a real grown up and am no longer expected to take 7 shots of raspberry ruby as a pregame to a night of drinking natty lite
FACE TIME HER WHILE YOU GUYS BANG
when I woke up, he was drunk and singing "soft kitty" and petting my face
Best case scenario: sex with hot bartender \nWorst case scenario: no sex and punched by tattooed guy that may or may not be said bartenders boyfriend.
You ran through a field yelling "I'm frolicking! I'm frolicking!" Then fell on your face. How is your nose today, doll?
can I cover your dick in cookie butter?
Never underestimate the power of loudly proclaiming you want to make out with someone
No you just wanted to pass out in your hallway because your room was too far away
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