So you maybe wanna hang out again? I could use the $5
Whatever I can do to help stimulate the economy
Ew, dude I just walked in on my boss masturbating in the supply room at the restaurant. He didn't see me so I quickly shut the door and pretended like it didn't happen. And then literally five minutes later he came up to me and cupped my face with his hands and told me what a great employee I was. I got a promotion but I'm fucking scarred for life. I can't stop cringing.
So we were banging and she started puking all over my bed. I'm not sure what's worse, her puking, or that I felt the urge to start singing Flip-adelphia.
vagina is talking i cant
normally i wouldnt have blown him but he was on dawsons creek.. i love dawsons creek.
Just stepped off the plane in St. Louis. I'm breaking out in hives, I'm allergic to Midwesterners. Can't WAIT to get the fuck out of here.
Your exhaustion is probably due to your rampant sexual urges and the fact that you live the same life as a raccoon.
Go christen that room with your naked body.
That was awkward , having sex with her while her husband watched via Skype. I'm a porn star or a target. Idk
this relationship shit is hard. like i'd like to be able to watch veep without him trying to dry hump me. also im drunk and its 11 am so
I mayyyyy have moaned a name that wasn't his
I found one of those wine glass confetti bits in my ass crack.
You wanna see what happens when frozen corn meets an unhappy Andrew's face?
So then edible panties?
Jesus no he likes candy too much, I'd lose a lip
Did you at least know who's jizz it was?
That is questionable.
Randomize
