A little girl and i are having a face making battle in mcdonalds
She started it, but I totally finished it.
is it true that cum stays in you for 7 years?
that's gum
im a genious. moved my bed and mirror so i can watch the game while Fucking
Dude, you were so drunk last night that when we went into subway, you forgot the word for bread.
I never thought I would say the free bottle of grey goose was the problem but it was
Using 'equal to a modern day cock block" in term paper, inappropriate
if there weren't so many witnesses I 100% wouldve punted that squirrel
What sexual position says im sorry for your loss?
So take that alcohol. I still win. I ALWAYS WIN. Plus i didn't have to wear clothes. DOUBLE WIN.
Well, I crapped my pants in front of her entire family, was laughed out of their house, and I had to walk home with shit stained pants. So, yeah, it went really well.
I got blackout last night and applied to be a banker
*jedi mind trick* you want to go down on me
My first love was gay too, it's okay.
If you can throw 105 mph it’s mandatory that you’re hung.
You ripped the leaves off the top of a pineapple then rubbed the rough skin part all over your face saying "this is how you mate with other species"
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