I hate u. Im listening to lady gaga and all i can hear is boca base om om om ommmm
U r making out with a 12 year old get ur shit together
dude your alot more fun to hang out around now that your addicted to coke...but seriously you need to stop
The party theme was heirs and heiress's. Most guys came in polo shirts but he came as the "arch duke of vagina".
I came home drunk to my night light on and a Hershey's bar on my bed. Mom knows me too well.
bro im too drunk for your spanish code words. did you fuck her or not.
the elusive kegmastree, who's mystery is only exceeded by it's power
This girl would not stay down. It was like night of the living dead. She kept on rising up to haunt anything with a penis
Santa was walking around downtown handing out stuff at the bars. He gave me a free eyebrow wax. I think he's trying to tell me something
I think the only context in which I'd be comfortable being kidnapped is by a band of baby sloths
I think I need to expose myself to your dog so he knows that I am also a male.
Allow me to explain. Triple D is a surprise. It's like if you're expecting to fight one person, then you get ambushed by more. Except it's a good ambush, because it's boobs, not death.
Remember how I have such good luck that it's almost bullshit?
I'm afraid to ask, but go on.
Sarah just give sum homeless dude a lap dance, took like 2$ worth of change from his cup and was all like, "Biiitch, this aint free"..
What's a professional way to say get your shit in gear?
Randomize
