walkin home..,.jsut saw the cheshire cat
watch out for the queen of hearts
fuucck i forgot ab her
you said your puke was red because you were proud to be an american.
Apparently I kept telling the bartender that I was going to set the Guinness World Record.
about to get into a hot tub with three cops. this cant go well
being alone eating nachos and drinking from a giant munchen beermug really isnt that sad
He has a clip art-style heart tattooed on his hip. I hated him way before I saw his tiny dick.
We fucked in my basement while hiding from the cops.. And now his Facebook picture is him and others holding up there MIP's in front of my house.. I feel obligated to add him as a friend.
This inappropriate post strip club text brought to you by Cheetah of Palm Beach and vodka. Blowjob in the champagne room and the clap for the low low price of your paycheck.
It's like all my brain cells are screaming at me.
I'm dying.
ecstacy + fleshlight = not all that upset about being newly single anymore
Everything was going well until he very loudly said that he wanted to cum on my fingernails.
It seems that Coffee is the true alpha male.
I love waking up to reeses ice cream. But I DONT love waking up to it all over my cat. I blame you.
You kept calling yourself a spider monkey... Then ran to the bathroom to "prepare for the main event"
He said when the pizza came I zip locked one slice and went to the couch and snuggled with it. Does that give you an idea of how my night was?
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