I'm not a mortal combat character
but my vagina is
Its the Friday before break. There are 20 kids in my 300 person lecture hall. All with the same what the fuck am I doing here look on there face.
youre totally missing out on eating your boogers right now. my entire face is numb
we'll go far in life on tits alone.
I'm gonna go out in a limb and say living out middle school fantasies is never a good idea
Hne relally is a cite oerfect gome. Nes awddddddddooooome.
when she first told me she hooked up with him my initial response was to shout "WE HAVE SOMETHING IN COMMON!"
Operation liquormelon is in full effect. We may die tonight.
If making out with three guys at once at a Kesha concert while simultaneously smearing glitter all over yourself doesn't convince her you're gay, nothing will
It's statistically impossible for there not to be at least one guy sexting you right now
he won't tell me his last name, but I know his garage key code
That was years ago. And it was chlamydia.
Is there a lightning bolt coming out of your boner right now?!
I think I'm just gonna exercise my lungs and fingers. With bong hits and crochet. BECAUSE I AM A REAPONSIBLE ADULT DAMMIT!!
Walking into her house she felt something in her bra.... It was a used condom. Sadly enough this is not the first or last time it will happen. It's time for an intervention.
Randomize
