I must be too annoying 4 u.
Im starting to think including a smiley face in texts may or may not be a code for 'lets have sex'
Im going to research this theory. . .
Is it bad that your cum tickles when I swallow it?
The good news is the house is clean, the bad news is someone redecorated the bonus room by spray painting "free willy" on the wall in honor of the girl who passed out in there last night.
The goal for tonight is vagina. In and around. Doesn't matter who. How. Or why.
I want to play lord of the rings tonight. And by that I mean get really drunk, potentially lost, and go trekking through the woods or climbing shit. I want all of you there. You are the fellowship. This is a mass text. I am insanely high.
While he was gone for spring break I took his head board... I don't wanna wake up from his shenanigans for the rest of my college career.
Can't find our DD
He's backstage giving the strippers foot massages.They kidnapped him the moment he walked thru the door.
He came on my pillow pet. That's unacceptable. I hate boys.
im single, its not even nine am on Valentine's day and I've already gotten laid. suck it relationships
If he would've shaved his beard when we first broke up, getting over him would've been so much simpler. That asshole.
Okay first of all, that is a sick ass nickname please call me that forever. Second, i need your help.
I swear, the guy behind me wasn't paying attention until the words "middle aged fuckboy" came out of my mouth.
What did we do lastnight that resulted in a $1,896 charge on my credit card with a $2,000 limit
WTF. I was 99% sure I went straight home last night. I just woke up hugging a chair, and my tux pocket has a flask filled with what I think is red bull and gatorade. This has to be your doing.
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