I hate ducks.
What?
they're sketch. like squirrels. squirrels are sketch as fuck.
You're not pinnochio. Lying isn't going to make it bigger.
honestly if we didnt hate the same people we would have a friendship based on nothing
zippers are such a cool invention
I have one brief flash of having his dick in my hand. that's all I remember.
you started crying because you didn't get to wear your rainboots this week so i turned on the shower and let you jump around in it
youre the best friend ever
then he tried to convert me to islam
So much for not drinking this week after this weekend.. Congratulations. U made it until tuesday.
Did you get any last night. I need to track my forever aloneness
I heard him say "bet you won't", look over 10 seconds later and she's blowing him.....looked eloquent under the glow of a camp fire.
She is larger then a hippo. You could cut her open in the middle of a blizzard and crawl in like Luke skywalker. Throw a couch and a tv in there and you're set
He's pretending to be my boyfriend so that my family won't bother us when we sneak off to smoke weed
You are cordially invited to the annual finals week stress relief drinking binge at our manor this evening
and then after the older sorority girl asked me his name she said "he gave me the rest of his mcdonalds and I decided to go home with him. it was the best that I could hope for my night"
Once again I let my vagina make the decisions...that and vodka :(
Randomize
