Is it weird for a girl to post pictures of her dildo no facebook?
I bought a bottle of 100 proof for the storm. I am going to drink until I pass out. I'm taking bets. 1:30 pm is the over/under.
the worst part of it wasnt him peeing on the xbox. it was when he showed me his penis and made a kissy face at me. THAT was painful.
So you know that marine I slept with, well his girlfriend just told me I was pretty, I almost feel bad for sleeping with him now...
Dont! You were just serving you country
You'll be the guy with the raft that sells burritos on the river. You'd be legendary.
it was literally the size of a crayloa marker. i didnt know what to do with it so i just sat there
I tried douching with a turkey baster. Not the brightest idea.
You weren't a difficult drunk to take care of. I just had to stop you from plunging the toilet once or twice.
dude just did a line with screech. dude is fucking creepy
my self respect just called, its having a good time without me
Incoming: this is a booty call. To accept, please reply with an appropriate time. To reject, please reply "N" and the information will be filed for future reference.
My mom ate salad out of the vodka bowl
I also tried to solve my dog's itching problem with crystal healing. I'm so high, dude.
I just rubbed amethyst all over him and kept saying 'no bites.'
Today I had sex and flossed at the same time. My relationship goals have been exceeded.
I've made a single handle of rum last like three weeks and my mom hasn't even acknowledged it.
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